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Oral bac anglais notion de progrès

Bonjour,
je suis en terminale St2s, j'ai un oral d'anglais en février sur 4 notions. J'ai commencé à réfléchir sur la notion de progrès.
Quelqu'un peut-il me donner son avis ? Merci !
PS: La conclusion n'est pas terminée !
I am going to speak about the notion of progress. First of all, I am going to give a fast definition of the notion of progress. The progress is the development in a certain direction, he can be negative (for example the progress of the disease) or positive (for example advances in medicine).
The internet is a technological evolution, it changed the life of million persons in the world. He sets 5 years to reach 50 million users in the world. It is short compared with the radio which set 38 years. The internet collects big programs useful as Wikipedia, Google, Facebook or still eBay. The internet is more present in the North of America (78,3 %), it is normal because it is the region of the world the most moved forward at the level of the technologies.
Can us say if the internet is a negative or positive progress?
First, us shall present the advantages of the internet. Next, us shall present the inconveniences of the internet. Finally, us shall make a conclusion.
In the video " internet is good thing ", we see the advantages of internet.
-The internet helps preserving history, for example the persecution of the Jews in the Second World War. The internet helps us to forget never the past.
- The internet has an educationa role, everybody can learn on it.
- The internet is a way to help the victims of natural disasters by donating.
- The internet is a mean to be free : you can confront ideas on the net.
In the document " Flash mob to Flash rob ", we notice that Internet allows the human gatherings. The Flash mob is a group of persons which gathers in a place and which begins suddenly dancing. The Flash mob is allowed by social networks as Facebook or Twitter.
Internet allows persons to work at home. In fact, it is the telecommuting. It is to work at home with the technologies of information and communication. (Internet, telephone, fax)
This working mode has advantages as: no transport, choose hours of work and free time, not pay a nurse for childrens.. But it also presents inconveniences as: social rejection, no separation between home and workplace, more difficult to concentrate...
Internet has other advantages :
- a entertainment with movies and games
- a good way of commuication. We can stay touch with our friends. Also, we can be made new friends
- We can go shopping. It is faster
- We wan make trainnings at a distance
Internet is not to control by the States. George Orwell was an English writer. In 1984, he describes a harsh society. Everyone is under complete control, mainly by telesreens. “Big Brothers is watching you” is at the heart of propaganda.
In video “internet is a bad thing”, the internet is compared to nuclear bomb.
-The internet favors the human exploitation(operation), with the pornography, it is a horrible business with the women
-The personal information is not protected and can be within the reach of everybody.
-The internet favors the terrorist attack. The terrorists how learn to make bombs on the Internet.
-The internet allows the evolution of group antisémits, extremists and racists
Orwell says that we live in a society in which people are wachted observed at anymoment of the day and everyone. It is true with security cameras, hacking..
In the document “Flash mob or Flash rob”; The Flash rob It is persons who meet to rob in stores. It is not the same thing as the flash mob.
In the video “Talent Show”, a phenomenon develops it is a cyberbullying. It is a practice of harassment and intimidation by internet. In the video, the scene takes place in a school. We can see a Talent Show. A cute girl arrives and says she is going to talk about Patty. We think that she is going to talk about friendship. The cute girl starts telling horrible things about poor Patty : she is stupid, she has greasy hair, her father doesn’t work.. We are surprised by the violence of the words. This phenomenon has to stop.
The internet presents other inconveniences:
-The internet can become an addiction with games and movies. We can risk the social exclusion. Stay behind a screen of computer can favor obesity.
-Sometimes, the internet is a danger with the pedophiles and the sexual perverts. Especially for childrens.
As a conclusion, We can say that Internet is a big progress for the society. He allows us to make full of things which our ancestors would never have been able to make. But every thing contains inconveniences. That is why it is necessary to be very watchfu.


Sagot :

I am going to speak about the notion of progress. First of all, I am going to give a brief definition of the notion of progress. Progress is development in a certain direction, it can be negative (for example the progress of the disease) or positive (for example advances in medicine).
The internet is a technological evolution, it changed the life of millions people in the world. It sets 5 years to reach 50 million users in the world. It is short compared with the radio which set 38 years. The internet has a big collection of big useful programs as Wikipedia, Google, Facebook or still eBay. The internet is more present in the North of America (78.3 %), which is normal because it is the region of the world that is most developed in terms of technology.
Can we term the internet either as a negative or positive progress?
First, we (is used instead of us)  shall present the advantages of the internet. Next, we shall present the inconveniences of the internet. Finally, we shall make a conclusion.
In the video " internet is good thing ", we see the advantages of internet.
-The internet helps in preserving history, for example the persecution of the Jews in the Second World War. The internet helps us not to forget the past.
- The internet has an educational role as well; everyone can learn on it.
- The internet can be used as a way of helping the victims of natural disasters by donating.
- The internet is a means to be free: you can confront ideas on the net.
In the document " Flash mob to Flash rob ", we notice that Internet can help in planning of human gatherings. The Flash mob is a group of persons who gather in a place and begin dancing suddenly. The Flash mob is allowed (enhanced) by social networks as Facebook or Twitter.
Internet allows people also to work at home. In fact, telecommuting is a term used to refer to people working at home using the technologies of information and communication(Internet, telephone, fax)
This working mode has advantages as no transport is requiredyou can choose hours of work, free time hours, and you do not have to  pay baby sitting fees. But it also presents inconveniences such as social rejection, no separation between home and workplace and it is more difficult to concentrate on your work...
Internet has other advantages as well : (you should have put these together with the rest of the advantages in a paragraph)
- entertainment with movies and games
- a good way (means) of commuication. We can stay in touch with our friends mile away. Also, we can make new friends
- We can go shopping. It is faster (we can shop online)
- We wan make training at a distance. (we can train online)
Internet is not under control by any Nation or States. George Orwell was an English writer. In 1984, he describes a harsh society. Everyone is under complete control, mainly by tele-screens. “Big Brothers is watching you” is at the heart of propaganda.
In the video “internet is a bad thing”, the internet is compared to nuclear bomb.
-The internet favors the human exploitation(operation), with pornography, it is a horrible business that uses women.
-The personal information is not protected and can be within reach of anyone.
-The internet can favor terrorism as terrorists can learn how to make bombs on the Internet.
-The internet can allow the evolution of group anti-social groups such as antisémits, extremists and racists
Orwell says that we live in a society in which people are watched and  observed at any moment of the day and everyone. This may be true with today's increased level of security cameras hacking..
In the document “Flash mob or Flash rob”; The Flash rob are  people who meet to rob stores. It is not the same thing as the flash mob.
In the video “Talent Show”, a phenomenon develops which is cyber bullying. This is a practice of harassment and intimidation by other internet users. In the video, the scene takes place in a school. We can see a Talent Show in the video. A cute girl arrives and says she is going to talk about Patty. We think that she is going to talk about their friendship. However, the cute girl starts talking of horrible things about poor Patty : she is stupid, she has greasy hair, her father doesn’t work.. We are surprised by the violence of the words. This phenomenon has to stop.
The internet presents other inconveniences:
-The internet can become an addiction with games and movies. We can risk being victims of the social exclusion. Stay behind a computer screen can also favor obesity.
-Sometimes, the internet becomes a danger, especially to children, with the pedophiles and the sexual perverts. 
As a conclusion, We can say that Internet is a big progress for the society. He  It (In english their is no use of gender for objects) allows us to make use of things which our ancestors would never have been able to make use of. But every thing contains inconveniences and negative aspects. That is why it is necessary to be very watchful.