Je prépare mes oraux d'anglais. Serait-il possible de m'aider à corriger les fautes (mon anglais est pas super)

Merci d'avance !

Introduction
First, in order to clearly understand my remarks, it's important to define the keywords of this notion.
The therm "progress" have some definitions:
(1) A progress is the process of improving or developing, or of getting nearer to achieving or completing something.
(2) Movement forwards or towards a place.
Considered as main tool of orientation in the complexity of the world, the concept of progress supported great moments of History.
It crosses and rushes the inheritances and the traditions, leading evolutions and development however it causes also tensions and resistances front of changes.
In addition, because of the development of the high technologies, the acceleration of scientific advances and technologies, the cult of the innovation, these last decades, caused an awareness of its consequences.
So, in class, we wondered what are the impacts and the benefits of the progress?



Progress...
The progress can improve the daily lives, help people and resolve problems

In class, we saw the story of Kavita Shukla. This story begins when Kavita accidentally drank some polluted water while visiting her grandmother in India. To counteract the poison, Grandma gave her a yellow powder known in India as methi. Methi comes from a natural herb called fenugreek. Sure enough, Kavita didn't get sick. She decided to carry out research into the properties of methi and she found it to be a safer natural preservative and packaging material for perishable foods. She won first prize for her botanical extra coated material for the preservation of perishable substances at the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair in 2001. She hopes to save a lot of lives with her invention and future inventions. In fact, 25% of world's food supply is lost per year because of waste and Kavita’s invention will reduce this wasteful.

This story looks like the last said, the story Mickael Pritchard who invented a bottle called “Life Saver Bottle” which can clean Any type of water, polluted or not. This technology will save a lot of population suffering of water shortage.

Finally, we watched a report of The Independent where a quadriplegic woman moves bionic arm with her mind. She reaches to drink a coffee, a simple action for us, but impossible for her until then.

We can see the progress seems to make the world move forward and modify behavior in order to help and improve human lives.


Or not ?
However, if Kavita and Mickael Pritchard’s inventions are adopted as solutions, the economy will be in danger. In fact, even if people will waste less thanks to Kavita, in consequence, they will buy less. Moreover, the “Life Saver Bottle” will call into question the entire water supply system at home. A disaster for the government.

We have read a science fiction story called “The million-year picnic” where a family run away from the killed Earth because of wars caused by the overdevelopment of technology. This concept of progress have some limits.

Finally, we have studied a Neil Armstrong’s speech called “The Engineered Century” where he said engineers contain weaknesses. He gives the examples of bridges fail, airplanes crash, automobiles or radiation escapes, yet.

The progress can improve the quality of life but also, can destabilize a system.


Conclusion
To conclude, engineers move forward the world and permite progress of life but this progress have consequences like tension and crisis. The progress is a dangerous and fragile tool which guide and modify the world until be risky.