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Bonjour, quelqu'un pourrait-il corriger mon texte pour mon oral en anglais sur la notion "idea of progress" ?

Idea of progress : Indian Society
I am going to talk about the idea of progress. First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion. The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development, or a change technical, scientific, or social advance witch contributes to making the world better place.
This year in class we studied several documents about this notion and in particular the Indian society.
Why is India said to be a country of contradictions ? In order, to answer this question we will study the traditional aspect of India then the modern.

First of all, it’s obvious that India is a traditional land where the inequalities between men and women are very present. There are two reasons to explain this inequalities :
The first, is the traditional infanticide practice.
The text which we have studied in class deal with this idea. In fact, the number of girls in India has been steadily falling for the past 20 years so the majority of Indian population are men. Therefore families get rid of the girl by abortion or removal.
Furthermore, a survey from Canada’s University of Toronto suggests that at least ten million female fetuses have been aborted in India over the past two decades. It’s estimated that every year (500,000) five hundred thousand girls disappear in India.
The second reason is the dowry system.
Indeed, the dowry system implies that girls give money to the boy's family, so it is financially more attractive to have a son. So boys can take care of the family business of the parents in their old age and they can carry on the family name and bloodline too. So for families to have a boy that's a good thought. That is why, in three generations,India is becoming a male dominated-society.

I will present now the modern aspect
Many changes have occured in India over the last 30 years. The country is now in a process of rapid economic development
Thanks to technical progress and renewal of equipment productivity, India is now one of the largest countries in the world and also a emerging country. To further illustrate this idea we can take the example of an audio report « high-tech cities ». The document talk about Sirisha who returned to India five years ago to create his Quislex company is located in Hyderabad. So thanks to the high tech cities evolution and industrial technology ,like Hyderabad, Bangalore Cyberabad, the Indian economy is the tenth in the world global nominal domestic product (GDP). These cities are the main reason for the economic sector are know a growth by 8% per year since 2004


Finally, India is far from being a homogeneous country. Indeed, there are many problems to solve in this country as infanticide. But India changed economically and also technologically. The Indians are now more open minded. So it illustrates perfectly the idea of progress showing the influence on citizens.













Sagot :

Moi qui ne m'y connaît pas trop dans ce genre de domaine je peut te dire chapeau pour ton travail car il est fluide , facile à comprendre avec un bon vocabulaire en lien avec le sujet. Si tu rends ceci à ton prof attend toi à une bonne note ( PS : cette note est plus une appréciation qu'une correction, il est possible que je puisse me tromper ) .