Bonjour j'ai besoin d'un correction de mes oraux d'anglais svp (merci d'indiquer les lignes)

°IDEA OF PROGRESS :
I’m going to talk about the notion of « idea of progress».First of all,let's define this notion :

This notion refers to an evolution or a change in order to improve the human condition and to have a better quality of life. This progress can be a technic like the industrial revolution or social like the gender equality .
I’m going to focus on the social progress concerning the consumer society.That’s means people overconsume and buy more than they really need.So in what way the consumption has evolued since the 20s?
I am going to develop my opinion through three points:
First of all,let us present the period of the Roaning 20s, next let us describe the mass consumption of the 1960s. Then,let us conclude about the consequences of overconsumption in the modern society.

In the first part we’re going to talk about how the consumer society has improved consistently after the industrial revolution in 1920s.
The economy became prosperous with the mass production in factory so middle class started to buy manufactured goods.Moreover, they wanted to forgot the horror of the first world war.Through the novel « Great Gasby »Fitzgerald we can see that the roaning 20s was a happy-good lucky society where there was debauchery because everything was exaggerated with expensive cars, enormeous parties, lot of drugs.Consequently,people would party all the time and they were used to drinking too much.

Over time, the consumption has taken an crucial place in the people's behaviours.Often, people become addicted of this kind lifestyle.

In the second part,we’re going to see how the consumer society began to overconsume during the 1960s
For example, the wax sculture «Supermarket Lady»by Hanson can be a representation on how people overconsume.As lot of women of this period, the sculture is a plump middle class American housewife who has a trolley full of groceries, junkfood and frozen food in order not to cook. It’s supposes people overconsume so as to fill in the emptiness of their life, like «I consume therefore I am» inspired by the quotation «I think, therefore I am» by Descartes.Consequently, the overconsumption makes people become materialistic.

However this overconsumption has various consequences.

In the last part I’m going to talk about the fact that for decades, we’ve consumed more and more but nowadays this consumption excessive causes differents impacts.
The first impact is economic:
For instance, Becky in the book « Secret Dreamworld of a shopaholic » is addicted to spending all the time.She can’t help buying lot of things but she doesn’t know exactly how much she has spent because she was manipulated by marketing strategies.So as a result, she's indebted and she must have problem with her bank.
The second impact is social
For example, during Black Friday or Thanksgiving, shoppers become aggressive and they pushed the others to get the best bargain.In a word, people just create needs to justify their spending.

We asked about the evolution of the consumer society.We saw that the Roaning 20s is the birth of the consumer society when the middle class started to consume. Afterwards,this overconsumption became a drug during the 60’s. To finish, this consumption is dangerous for the financial situation of consumer and for people's behaviours .So my opinion is that we must to practice a responsible consumption more based on the sustainable developpment.Maybe the lifetyle to follow is the same that amish community which lives basicly.