👤

FRstudy.me facilite l'obtention de réponses détaillées à vos questions. Découvrez des réponses complètes de la part de membres connaisseurs de notre communauté, couvrant un large éventail de sujets pour répondre à tous vos besoins d'information.


Bonjour, j’ai une lettre de motivation à rédiger et j’aimerais une correction et un avis, je voudrais utiliser le plus possible le present perfect merci .
I am writing to apply for the job offer of Toy Designer that was advertised in the web.


I realy want to get this job and I think I am the ideal candidat because, I have lot of experience with the toys and I love seeing the toys and theirs mechanisms and I like the shapes and colors of toy.

For the last year, I have worked at Lego at Disneyland Paris, I was responsible for shop, I loved this job . The year before I did design studies at Yale university.It was during this period that I realized that I wanted to work in the toy industry.


I enjoy designing and I am very perfectionist in my work.I love the children’s and I am passionate about toys. I have a lot of humility . I have learned to recognize the children’s desire of toys. My CV is enclosed as requested, as well as one refence from my previous employer.


Sagot :

Je trouve ton texte bien mais plutôt moyen. Tu aurais pu utilser plus d exclamation et de détails . J'ai corrigé les fautes


I am writing ͟y͟o͟u͟ ͟t͟h͟i͟s͟ ͟l͟e͟t͟t͟e͟r͟ to apply for the job offer of Toy Designer that was advertised o͟n͟ the web.



I really want to get this job, b͟e͟c͟a͟u͟s͟e͟ I think t͟h͟a͟t͟ ͟f͟i͟r͟s͟t͟ ͟o͟f͟ ͟a͟l͟l͟ I am the ideal candidat a͟n͟d͟ I have lot of experience with toys and I love seeing the toys and theirs mechanisms and t͟h͟e͟i͟r͟ shapes and colors t͟o͟o͟.


Last year, I have worked at Lego,at Disneyland Paris. I was responsible o͟f͟ ͟t͟h͟e͟ ͟s͟h͟o͟p͟s͟ , and I loved i͟t͟ . The year before a͟l͟l͟ ͟t͟h͟at I s͟t͟u͟d͟i͟e͟d͟ ͟d͟e͟s͟i͟g͟n͟ at Yale university.It was during this period that I realized that I wanted to work in the toy industry.



I enjoy designing and I am very perfectionist in my work . I love children’s and I am r͟e͟a͟l͟l͟y͟ passionate about toys and g͟o͟t͟ a lot of humility . I have learned to recognize the children’s desire of toys. My CV is enclosed as requested, as well as one refence from my previous employer