👤
Answered

Rejoignez FRstudy.me et commencez à obtenir les réponses dont vous avez besoin. Posez vos questions et recevez des réponses détaillées et fiables de la part de nos membres de la communauté expérimentés et bien informés.

Bonsoir, Pouvez vous le corriger mon texte svp faut qu'il est au prétérit Merciii d'avance


Today was a difficult day, First, I had to wake up at 6 am. Then, I had to make beds, pray, clean shoes and wash from 6 am to 7 am. In the morning, at 7am, I had to do gymnastics exercises. Everyday I had to eat the same tasteless food day after day food for breakfast, dinner and supper. I'm fed up, I couldn't stand this. And the worst was it was disgusting and tasteless. For breakfast and dinner, I had to eat bread, cheese and broth (but it depens what day it was) and for supper I ate meat or porridge (it's also depends on the day.). And also when I asked for more food I was surprised because I didn't know that I couldn't take more. After breakfast, I can play. The girls had more recreations, whereas the boys had just one. From 11 am to 12 am I had to do grammar, parsing and dictation. The boys did grammar or spelling whereas the girls had domestic employment. Later on, at 2 pm I had to write in the copy book. I couldn't learn to read and write but there was education. But the boys had more education than the girls. And also girls had religious instruction whereas boys didn't. And girls had to knit whereas boys didn't. Finally, at 8 pm, I retired to bed. Sometimes I went to school otherwise I work in factory. When I went to school I had to wear uniforms and also I couldn't fight in school. But my work in factory was very dangerous and if I neglected of work so I will don't have dinner, only bread for supper. I couldn't speak to my family otherwise I would be punished so I was disappointed with that. And I was worried because I had to live and work in different places. I was nervous, confused and embarrased when I arrived for the first time. Seriously, I was so bored, I missed my family and I feel so lonely without my family.

Sagot :

Luciegth

Bonsoir !

J’ai eu du mal à comprendre ton texte puisque je n’ai pas son contexte. Je me suis permise de supprimer des mots et phrases quand tu faisais des répétitions. Il y a selon moi un petit problème car la narratrice parle de plusieurs choses différentes : de sa journée, des conditions de vie et du jour où elle est arrivée. Ces trois choses ne devraient pas être racontées au même temps. Cela aurait vraiment été mieux que j’aie les consignes avec.

J’ai donc fait de mon mieux mais le texte n’est pas parfait, mais certainement un peu mieux qu’avant quand même.

À part ce petit problème et de nombreux mots qui ne sont pas nécessaires en début de phrases, le texte est très bien écrit ! :)

Today was a difficult day. First, I woke up at 6 am. Then, I made beds, prayed, cleaned shoes and washed from 6 am to 7 am. At 7am, I did gymnastic exercises. I ate the same tasteless food that I eat day after day for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I was fed up, I couldn't stand this. For breakfast and lunch, I ate bread, cheese and broth (but it depends of the day) and for the dinner I ate meat or porridge (it also depends of the day.). When I asked for more food I was surprised because I didn't know that I couldn't take more. After breakfast, I could play. The girls had more recreations, whereas the boys had just one. From 11 am to 12 am I had to do grammar, parsing and dictation. The boys did grammar or spelling whereas the girls had domestic employment. At 2 pm I had to write in the copy book. I couldn't learn to read and write but there was education. Boys had more education than girls. Girls had religious instruction and had to knit whereas boys hadn’t to. Finally, at 8 pm, I retired to bed. Sometimes I went to school otherwise I worked in a factory. When I went to school I had to wear a uniform and I couldn't fight at school. But my work in the factory was very dangerous and if I neglected my work I wouldn’t have my dinner, only bread for dinner. I couldn't speak to my family otherwise I would be punished so I was disappointed. I was worried because I had to live and work in different places. I was nervous, confused and embarrased when I arrived for the first time. Seriously, I was so bored, I missed my family and I felt so lonely without my family.

J’espère quand même t’avoir aidé(e) !

Merci de nous rejoindre dans cette conversation. N'hésitez pas à revenir à tout moment pour trouver des réponses à vos questions. Continuons à partager nos connaissances et nos expériences. Vous avez des questions? FRstudy.me a les réponses. Merci pour votre visite et à bientôt.