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Lieux / formes de pouvoir

Bonjour,
j'ai écrit un texte sur la notion Lieux et formes de pouvoir pour mon Oral d'anglais et je me demandais si j'aimerais que quelqu'un ait la gentillesse de le corriger. Merci pour vos réponses.
I’m going to talk about the notion of Locations and Forms of power.

First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion. The power is the ability or official capacity to exercise control or authority like the State or the government. It’s also a person, group, or nation having great influence over others. The power isn’t the same in all places and it has changed over generations.

To my mind, the documents that seem to best illustrate the notion are those which talks about the Forms of power in different period of history. In the seventeenth century there was the trial of the witch of Salem in Massachusetts, at this time there wasn’t government and the person who are accused to witchcraft are convicted. Over the centuries the power has progressed in the U.S.A. and we are arrived to a republic with lot of presidents like Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln or Roosevelt who are represented in the Mount Rushmore, a National Memorial which is testify of the evolution of power in the United States.
In another place in the world, we have the Maori, who aren’t in power in New Zealand but they have a lot of social, economic and cultural influence of the people in the country.

In conclusion, the power is in different forms in the World and it changes continually. It can be represented by a emblem, like the Bald Eagle or Uncle Sam for the U.S.A.

Sagot :

Santos2
I’m going to talk about the notion of Locations and Forms of power.

First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion. Power is the ability or official capacity to exercise control or authority like the State or the government power. It can also be a person, group, or nation having great influence over others. The( use of article 'the' here denotes a particular power: delete) power isn’t the same in all places and it has changed over generations.

To my mind(in my view), the documents that seem to best illustrate this notion are those which talk about the Forms of power in different period of history. In the seventeenth century there was the trial of the witch of Salem in Massachusetts, at this time there wasn’t an established government and anyone who was accused of practicing witchcraft were convicted. Over the centuries the (system of)power has progressed in the U.S.A. and what resulted is a republic that has had a lot of presidents like Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln or Roosevelt .(sentence too long) These presidents are represented in Mount Rushmore, a National Memorial which is a testimonial of the evolution of power in the United States.
In another place (elsewhere) in the world, we have the Maori, who aren’t in power in New Zealand but they have a lot of social, economic and cultural influence on the people of this country.

In conclusion, the power is in different forms in the World and it changes continually. It can be represented by a emblem, like the Bald Eagle or Uncle Sam for the U.S.A.

Note:
Try not to write very long sentences.
Put considerations on how you punctuate your sentences.

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