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Oral /Myths and Heroes

Bonjour!
Je poste ma dissertation d'anglais sur Myths and Heroes. Si quelqu'un veut bien m'aider à la corriger et analyser ce qui ne va pas, je lui en serai très reconnaissant ;).
Je pense que je n'ai pas assez approfondi sur la notion de mythe. J'ai essayé de l'introduire mais c'est assez maladroit et je n'ai aucune inspiration.
I'm going to talk about the notion of myths and heroes we studied in class through some documents. First, I would like to give you a brief definition : a myth can be defined as a story about gods or heroes, it can be a popular belief or a tradition. An hero can be a mythological figure, a person who is admired for his or her achievements, a superhero or maybe a role model or an icon.
We can wonder in what extend this documents are relevant illustrations of the notion?
To begin with Malala's speech, I'm going to present her acts and then I'm going to speak about those of Henry Ford, the man who revolutionized the automobile's world.
First and foremost, I consider Malala as the heroine of our time. She marked her 16th birthday by delivering a speech at the United Nations to speak up of her campaign for girl's right and above all the right of education of every children.
That day, she was heard and standing behind a lot of important politicians. But she wasn't here to speak for herself but for those which voice can't be heard. She told the assembly the attack of Talibans and the bullet on her and on her friends. Those shots aimed at silence her but they failed. Nothing change in her life, only fear, weakness, and hopelessness disappeared to let place to strength, power and courage.
By fighting for the education for every children, Malala tries to ensure liberty of each of them. Her campaign is more so important when we know that freedom is necessary to live in good conditions in society. But it could also help to reach happiness.
Moreover, she has many qualities as being pacific, altruistic, mature, courageous, and over and above, she fights for her ideals. These qualities are characteristic of an hero.
In a nutshell, this speech is an impressive message of hope and peace to the world. Malala is for me the representation of wise and peace in the world as the Daila Lama is for Tibetans.
By the way, can we consider every person as an hero because he or she fights for his ideals?
To this question, I answer no. I will explain why with the example of Henry Ford.
John Dos Passos has written an article, called Big Money, about this great businessman of the 20th century.
We learn that Henry Ford had his own working policy. Indeed, he established the assembly line and the mass production. Visionary Then as a conservative man, he only hired “cleancut properly married American workers”. To get them to be good workers, Ford paid them five dollars a day, an amount of money which was quit generous at that time.
It's on this concept that the success of Henry Ford was based and that he was considered a hero, and, as time goes, a myth. However, the journalist is quite biased in his words. His article is written in a sarcastic tone. For instance, he gives his opinion on the wages given to the workers as a very small cut. Moreover he exposes Ford to hired workers who didn't read or think.
To my mind, Ford is not a hero. I believe that being considered as an hero depends of the point of view of every people. Indeed, we don't have all the same convictions or ideals. So I deduce that an real hero must act for the common interest.
To sum up, this article demystifies the work of Henry Ford by revealing what was his real aim : money.
To conclude, to be consider as a hero some qualities are expected, but for me the most important is to act for the common interest as Malala does. If your position of hero persist, the myth arise.
Merci d'avance!



Sagot :

I'm going to talk about the notion of myths and heroes we studied in class through some documents. First, I would like to give you a brief definition : a myth can be defined as a story about gods or heroes, it can be a popular belief or a tradition. An hero can be a mythological figure, a person who is admired for his or her achievements, or a superhero or maybe a role model or an icon. 
We can wonder to what extend those documents are relevant illustrations of the notion?

First I would like to start with Malala's speech, and then I will present her acts and then I'm going to speak about Henry Ford's ones, the man who revolutionized the automobile's field
First and foremost, I consider Malala as the heroine of our time. She marked her 16th birthday by delivering a speech at the United Nations to speak up of her campaign for girl's right and above all the right of education of every child (every + singulier)
That day, she was standing behind a lot of important politicians who were listening carefully to here. But she wasn't here to speak about herself but about those whose voice can't be heard. She told the assembly the Talibans' attack and how the fire were going over her and her friends (=comment les balles ont sifflé au-dessus d'elle et de ses amis). Those shots aimed at making her silent but they failed. Nothing has changed (il s'agit d'un constat par rapport à une chose qui a commencé dans le passé et qui continue dans le présent donc present perfect) in her life, only fear, weakness, and desperation disappeared to let place to strength, power and courage. 
By fighting for the education for every child, Malala tries to ensure liberty of each of them. Her campaign is more important when we know that freedom is necessary to live in good conditions in society. But it could also help ø reach happiness.
==> to help someone/something do (pas de préposition entre help et le verbe qui suit). 

Moreover, she has many qualities as being pacific, altruistic, mature, courageous, and above all, she fights for her ideals. These qualities are characteristic of an hero.
==> over and above = par-delà ; au-dessus.

In a nutshell, this speech is an impressive message of hope and peace addressed to the world. To me, Malala is the representation of wise and peace in the world as the Daila Lama is for Tibetans.
However (by the way = soit dit en passant ; ça ne va pas dans ce contexte), can we consider every person as an hero because he or she fights for his ideals? 
I would answer this question in the negative. I will explain why with the example of Henry Ford. 
John Dos Passos wrote an article, called Big Money, about this great businessman of the 20th century.
We learn that Henry Ford had his own working policy. Indeed, he put in place the assembly line and the mass production in his factories. Visionary then conservative, he only hired “cleancut properly married American workers”. To get them to be good workers, Ford paid them five dollars a day, which was quite a good amount of money at that time.

This concept explained Henry Ford's success and why he was considered as a hero, and, as time goes on, as a myth. However, the journalist is quite biased in his words. His article is written in a sarcastic tone. For instance, he gives his opinion on the wages given to the workers as a very small portion of what he actually earned. Moreover, he said that Ford hired workers who didn't read or think.
To my mind, Ford is not a hero. I believe that being considered as an hero depends on the point of view of every people. Indeed, we don't have all the same convictions or ideals. So I deduce that a real hero must act for the common interest.
To sum up, this article demystifies the Henry Ford's work by revealing what was his real aim : money.
In conclusion, being consider as a hero requires some qualities. But for me, the most important is to act for the common interest as Malala did. If your position of hero persists, the myth will arise. 

1) Attention au génitif : Henry Ford's work. Puisqu'il s'agit d'une personne il faut utiliser le 's après le nom ou une simple apostrophe si le nom se termine par un s :
The Smiths' children

2) Every + SINGULIER : tu as répété plusieurs fois "every children

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