Oraux /Espaces et échanges

Bonjour,
voici mon oral d'anglais sur la notion Espaces et échanges, pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger mes fautes s'il vous plait ? Merci d'avance.

I'm going to talk about the notion of Spaces and Exchanges. We studied a lot of documents about U.S illegal Immigration. Illegal immigration to the United States, also referred to as undocumented immigration, is the act by foreign nationals of entering the United States without government permission and in violation of immigration law of the United States, or staying beyond the termination date of a visa, also in violation of the law. The illegal immigrant population of the United States was estimated from 7 to 20 million.
We can wonder to what extent does the American dream represent the ideal for the immigrants?

At first, we will show that the american dream is wonderful for the immigrants and In second, we will show that a lot of peoples never will see this dream.
In order to illustrate the notion, I have to chosen three documents :
-The first document is Why the caged bird sings ?, which is an article of Newsweek
-The second document is Julian Castro, which is an oral comprehension.
-And the third is The illegals : the hidden workers of the United States, which is an extract of a magazine.

I We started by the american dream. A few of the motivating factors that bring Hispanic immigrants to the United States include a lack of resources and opportunities in their home countries, abuses of their government, extreme poverty, and even the search for adventure (Garni, 2010). Each individual might have different circumstances leading to his/her immigration to the United States, but most immigrants have the same general purpose to make better lives for themselves and their families.
Like in Why the caged bird sings ? The journalist describe the Ana's life. Ana is an undocumented , unskilled immigrant who lived below the poverty line. She was penniles, destitute, poverty. She's quite well-off today as she has managed to climb the social ladder : her story is a rags-to-riches story.

In Julian Castro, Julian describes the his life. His grand-mother came in USA to offer a better life at her daughter. Now, Julian and his brother are to enter politics have a great life and they have a great life.

II However, to want to live the American dream can become dangerous. While traveling from native countries to the United States many dangers and violations of human rights await the immigrants. Immigrants walk for hours in the desert heat to find places to cross where there are no police, some try to swim or sail across the Rio grande. Every year, mexicans die during the journey. They often do the jobs that no one else want to do some times, some times it's a dangerous job. They often do cleaning jobs, the work on farms, they might work in factories... They haven' got a social security and use drugs to forget them problems.

Like, in The illegals : the hidden workers of the United States describes the conditions of this trip and their life after they arrived in the U.S.
In conclusion, we can say americans aren't ready to integrate illegals immigrants in their society because eighty percent of Americans would like to see the government tighten border controls to stem the flow of illegal immigrants.