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Bac oral myths and heroes

Bonjour,
je vais passer mon Bac d'anglais dans quelques semaines et j'aimerais savoir si vous pouvez corriger mes fautes et me conseiller sur mon texte s'il vous plait.Merci pour vos réponses.
I’m going to talk about the notion of myth and heroes. A myth can be defined as a traditional story, or as a fiction invented by the men.A hero is a person who is admired for their courage, and for her achievements, or noble qualities. I would like to illustrate the notion through modern heroes.
During this notion we watch and study a film about Erin Brockovich.
First of all I’m going  to talk about Erin Brockovich and why we can consider Erin has a modern hero ?
This women is a single mother, she's unemployed and she raises only her three children.
She was recently been injured of a car accident but she lose the trial as a result she didn't get compensations.
Erin Brockovich search desesperatly to work, her lawyer Ed masry decided to take her a little chance to work in this firm.
Once hired she is going to discover, in a minor file, that a distribution company of energy, Pacific Gas and Electric Company (PG and E).
Subsidiary of a big company, acquires one by one the houses of a Californian town, where numerous inhabitants are affected by very big health problems, among which of grave diseases such as a cancer.
Investigating on the spot , she etablishes the link that these serious illnesses are caused by the drinking water containing toxic waste, in particular hexavalent chromium (or chromium 6), stemming from some water of cooling of the factory.
Only at the beginning, she leads the fight, collects proofs, motivates one by one the inhabitants, convinces her boss of the scale of the affair, to obtain finally a consequent compensation to each of the victims with the incorrect company.
We can consider Erin Brockovich as a modern hero because even if she is unemployed she is fighting to get a job and she win, certainly she had a bad temper, that's really true, she can equally be rude or vulgar but she has a good heart, and Erin is very determined on this job.
She gets angry very quickly but this is for the good reason, she is fully invested in his job, in cause of this job she broke up with her boyfriend in order to continue with the case and when Ed Masry wants to give up the case she insists to continuing.
Erin had many qualities, she's daring and she have a lot of nerve and it be sucessful, despite her three children she hard working and she just went and started working at the law firm even though Ed hadn't hired then she forced him to hire her, she was very determined and Ed had give way.
Even if Erin at first view can be vulgar, she's very good with people and they appreciates that, she know how to make people happy.
First of all she respect them and that very important for her, consequently they trust her so it's easier to make her job very well, she also helps others people when they were in difficulty, and she also helped herself , she had more self-esteem because people respect her and listen to what she has to say.
She's a hard working woman, she it remains at job for long hours sometimes in spite of his children, she know all the information by heart so she must have a photographic memory.
I agree with all of that, for me Erin Brockovich is a modern hero, because she was a single mother unemployed and be broke and with his determination now she is very important, maybe indispensble to Ed Masry and this law firm, that's why Ed decided to give her a big promotion for her and her children.
To conclude I have equally different heroes in particular Nelson Mandela, because for me this men is one example for us, he spent 27 years in prison before becoming the first black president, he fought against Apartheid in south africa and for freedom and equality.
In an equivalent domain Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King are for me heroes of the society.
Merci d'avance



Sagot :

I’m going to talk about the notion of "myths and heroes." A myth can be defined as a traditional story, or as a fictitious story invented by men ("the" is used when being specific). A hero is a person who is admired for their courage, and for her (no using these words as it is only a repeat) achievements, or noble qualities. I would like to illustrate the notion through modern heroes.
During the study of this notion we watched  a film about Erin Brockovich.
First of all I’m going to talk about Erin Brockovich and why we can consider Erin has a modern hero ?
This woman is a single mother, she's unemployed and she raises her three children alone.
She was recently injured in a car accident, but she lost (mind the tense) the trial and as a result she didn't get compensations.
Erin Brockovich searched desperately for work, and fortunately, her lawyer Ed masry decided to give her a little chance to work in his firm.
Once hired she is going to discover, in a minor file, that a distribution company of energy, Pacific Gas and Electric Company (PG and E).
A subsidiary of a big company, that acquires one by one the houses of a Californian town, where numerous inhabitants are affected by very big health problems, among which grave diseases such as a cancer.
Investigating on the spot , she establishes the link, that these serious illnesses are caused by the drinking water which contains toxic waste, in particular hexavalent chromium (or chromium 6), stemming from some cooling water used in the factory.
Only at (from) the beginning , she leads the fight, collects proofs, motivates one by one the inhabitants, convinces her boss of the scale of the affair, to obtain finally a consequent compensation to each of the victims from the incorrect (unbecoming) company.
We can consider Erin Brockovich as a modern hero because even if (though) she is unemployed (use a comma) she is fighting to get a job and she won, ( end the sentence here and start a new one: explaining how she has a bad temper but a good heart) certainly she had a bad temper , that's really true, she can equally be rude or vulgar but she has a good heart, and Erin is also very determined on this job.
She gets angry very quickly but this is for a good reason, she is fully invested in her job, and this evident as even in the course of this job, she broke up with her boyfriend in order to continue with the case and when Ed Masry wants to give up on the case she insists on continuing.
Erin had many qualities, she's daring and she has (mind the tense) a lot of nerves,which made her successful,(full stop) Despite her three children she is hard working, she just went and started working at the law firm even though Ed hadn't hired her, then she forced him to hire her, she was very determined and Ed had to give way.
Even though Erin at first view (sight) can be viewed as vulgar, she's very good with people and they appreciate that; she knows how to make people happy.
First of all she respect them and that is very important to her, (full stop)consequently (used to mean as a result of) they trust her so it's easier to do her job very well, she also helps other people when they were in difficult situations, and she also helped herself in the process , as she gained more self-esteem because people respected her and listened to what she has to say.
She's a hard working woman, she at times remains at her work place for long hours in spite of her children. She knows all the (a lot of) information by heart, so she must be having a photographic memory.
I agree with all of that, for me Erin Brockovich is a modern hero, because she was a single mother, unemployed and broke but with her determination she became very important, maybe eve indispensable to Ed Masry and his law firm, that's why Ed decided to give her a big promotion for sake of her and her children.
To conclude I have equally different heroes in particular Nelson Mandela, because for me this man is one great example for us, he spent 27 years in prison before becoming the first black president, he fought against Apartheid and for freedom and equality in south Africa.
In an equivalent domain Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King are for me heroes of the society.