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Bonjour à tous,

Voici ma préparation pour mon oral d'anglais sur la notion de progrès.
Si quelqu'un pouvait prendre le temps de me corriger ça me rendrait un énorme service.

Merci d'avance ! :)

The Notion of progress
I am going talk about the idea of progres and first of all, I would like to give a definition of this notion : The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change – a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. By studying the notion of progress, we talked mostly about technological progress, that's why we will focus our argumentation on this perspective.Technology refers to the study of tools and technics. Technology affects directly mankind for a specific purpose in that it aims at simplifying our daily life life. It's at the service of Human. But today we found a negative aspect. For some people, mankind is completely dependent and slave of this technological progress. Hence, we can ask whether we can exist without technology ? As part of the notion, we have studied several documents (2 texts and a video) and I've chosen to focus on the documents entitled « FOMO : How the Fear of Missing Out drives social media « addiction » » and « Into the Wild ».

The first document I have chosen is an article entitled « FOMO : How the Fear of Missing Out drives social media « addiction » » taken from the website of the BBC and published on March 19th 2015. This article is about the addiction to social media and about teenagers who agreed not to use their social media for a week. The aim of the experiment is to see if they were able to live without that. We have in this article Sheveen's testimony who accepted to carry out. First he felt very confident, he thought he managed easily. But he received messages from a friend who need his help and who kept sendind him messages. Moreover, when his friends talked about a video they watched the night before, the boy felt left out by them. So, on Saturday he yielded because it was too hard for him, he couldn't bear living without social media. It's essential for him, it's a real addiction.

This document illustrate the problem because it's impossible for Sheveen to live without technology, it's vital for him even if it's not impossible for other persons like we will see.

In the second document, it's completely different : in the first one it was a teenager who tried to live without social media but he didn't manage his experiment, but in the second document it's the narrator who has chosen to live without technological progress. Indeed, in the extract from the book entitled « Into the Wild » written by Jon Krakauer and published in 1996, we understand that it's a letter from Christopher Mc Candless (nicknamed Alexander Supertramp by himself) to his friend Ron. We know that Alex is about twenty one years old because he graduated, and Ron is about eighty. The narrator wants to go back to nature in Alaska and asks his friend in the letter to do like him and to meet up with him. For Alex, it's essential to live without technology, it's his dream. But in the end of his « Alaskan Odyssey », he died because he ate by mistake a toxic plant.

To me, we can't live without a minimum of technology as evidenced by the letter of Alex, but we do not have to be dependent like Sheveen. Technology is there and makes something easier which doesn't mean we should rely on it so much that we can't think for ourselves.
And this is the problem of my generation, because we were born with technology so we are dependent on it and we don't think without technology. It's necessary to find a balance because life without technology is impossible once it has access, but addiction is not an obligation. First of all, it's a matter of will.





Sagot :

NH5
Correction time! Toutes les corrections sont en gras.


"I am going to talk about the idea of progress and first of all, I would like to give a definition of this notion : The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change – a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes in making the world a better place. By studying the notion of progress, we talked mostly about technological progress, that's why we will focus our argumentation on this perspective. Technology refers to the study of tools and techniques. Technology directly affects mankind for a specific purpose in that it aims at simplifying our daily life. It's at the service of mankind. But today we found a negative aspect. For some people, mankind is completely dependent and enslaved by this technological progress. Hence, can we question whether we can exist without technology ? As part of the notion, we have studied several documents (2 texts and a video) and I've chosen to focus on the documents entitled « FOMO : How the Fear of Missing Out drives social media « addiction » » and « Into the Wild ». 

The first document I have chosen is an article entitled « FOMO : How the Fear of Missing Out drives social media « addiction » » taken from the website of the BBC and published on March 19th 2015. This article is about the addiction to social media and about teenagers who agreed not to use their social media for a week. The aim of the experiment is to see if they were able to live without that. We have in this article Sheveen's testimony who accepted to carry out. First he felt very confident, he thought he could manage it easily. But he received messages from a friend who needed his help and who kept sending him messages. Moreover, when his friends talked about a video they watched the night before, the boy felt left out by them. So, on Saturday he yielded because it was too hard for him, he couldn't bear living without social media. It's essential for him, it's a real addiction. 

This document illustrates the problem because it's impossible for Sheveen to live without technology, it's vital for him even if it's not impossible for other persons as we will see. 

In the second document, it's completely different : in the first one it was a teenager who tried to live without social media but didn't succeed, however but in the second document it's the narrator who has chosen to live without technological progress. Indeed, in the extract from the book entitled « Into the Wild » written by Jon Krakauer and published in 1996, we understand that it's a letter from Christopher Mc Candless (nicknamed Alexander Supertramp by himself) to his friend Ron. We know that Alex is about twenty one years old because he graduated, and Ron is about eighty. The narrator wants to go back to nature in Alaska and asks his friend in the letter to do like him and to meet up with him. For Alex, it's essential to live without technology, it's his dream. But in the end of his « Alaskan Odyssey », he died because he ate by mistake a toxic plant. 

To me, we can't live without a minimum of technology as evidenced by the letter of Alex, but we do not have to be dependent like Sheveen. Technology is there and makes things easier; yet it doesn't mean we should rely on it so much that we end up unable to think for ourselves.

And this is the problem of my generation, because we were born with technology so we are dependent on it and we don't think without technology. It's necessary to find a balance because life without technology is impossible once one has access, but addiction is not a fatality. First of all, it's a matter of will. "

La plupart des fautes sont des fautes de syntaxe et d'expression qui étaient soit francisées, soit un peu maladroites. J'ai essayé de varier légèrement certaines formulations, et normalement, tout devrait être bien maintenant.


Have a nice day!
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