Bonjour, si quelqu'un pouvait me corriger ce texte d'anglais, j'en aurais besoin assez rapidement. Merciii d'avance! (il s'agit de mon oral pour le bac)

The idea of progress: Tech-less world

I'm going to talk to you about the idea of progress and more specifically about the technology.
We can think that a technological word is beneficial, but is there only advantages ? That's the question I'm going to answere in my presentation.
First I'm going to focus on the positive points of the technology and then I'm going to concentrate on the negative points of this subject.

Technology is a very important thing in our world. That evolved a lot for years and some people works on it every day, mainly scientists. Technology has a lot of advantages. It makes the everyday life easier in many fields. Technology is for example very important in medicine. The medical advances allowed to live better. Another advantage of the technology is the communication. Today we can talk to someone who is at the other end of the world. We can just communicate easier with others with phone and electronic mails. Communication is one of the most important thing in the current society.
A world wide blackout would be a disaster. Without power, computer wouldn't work anymore, which means that people wouldn't be able to communicate anymore. People wouldn't drive anymore and planes would crash. People would no longer be able to travel or import and preserve food. So technology helps us in our everyday life and it's during a blackout that we realize it most.

We just saw different positive points about technology but now I'm going to present you some negative points about that.
First, we can be dependant of technology. If you constantly check your phone, go cold turkey about your phone, you suffer from technology addictions.
There was an experience in an High School. Students had to live without technoloy. They had to unplung all technological advices for a day. I think it's a very good experience to do. It can be hard at first but after we see that technology isn't necessary to our every day life. After that we can't forget to talk about the impact of technology on health and environment. Scientists have demonstrated that technologies are dangerous for our brains because of their waves. So we have to pay attention about that and don't abuse it. Other than that, for me it's impolite to be always on our phone. If we have a real conversation with someone, we don't have to check our e-mails at this moment. Same thing when we're eating with our family for example.

We can conclude that there are positive and negative points about technology. Personlly I think that technology is good if we aren't dependant of this, if we are able to have a face-to-face conversation with someone and live a fewdays without our phone. We can also make some experiences like to live somewhere without technology. We have to learn to live without technology, because I thonk it's not the most important in life.