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Bonjour.
J'ai quelques difficultés en anglais c'est pourquoi j'aimerai avoir votre opinion/correction sur le texte ci-dessous. J'ai essayé de traduire moi même, pardonnez mes erreurs. Merci beaucoup !
PS : Tout est expliqué si dessous.

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SUBJECT
Today is the birthday of the undersea explorer Jacques Cousteau who was born in 1910. Write a short story in which you are the leader of an expedition into the deepest unexplored part of the ocean. What creatures do you see ? What else might you discover ?

I.PRESENTATION
Hello everybody. My name is Hannah Cousteau and if I am hear it is for to talk about my grandfather. Indeed, I'm the granddaughter of the famous explorer Jacques Cousteau. I am going to tell you fabulous adventure that it arrived at me with him. But before, I am going to explain to you who was my grandfather.

II.MISTER COUSTEAU
Jacques Cousteau was born the Eleven in June one thousand nine hundred ten in "Gironde". He was an officer of the French Navy then a submarine explorer, a researcher and a French documentary photographer. He invented the devices of dive (as the diving suit). He also led submarine expeditions shipping and he produced movies about sea bed (as "La Recherche de l'Atlantide" or still " Le Monde du Silence").
He dies twenty five in June one thousand nine hundred ninety seven in Paris.

III. WHAT IT PASSED
Here we are, I a little spoke to you about my grandfather. I am now going to tell you that happened to me with him.
As on every Sunday, grandfather took me to the port to make a small excursion on his boat, a magnificent catamaran. This day there, the air was soft and the sun shone. I settled down in the back, on the stern. "Today I am going to take you to plunge on the Atlantic Coast" he tells me in smiling. "You are maybe going to discover something surprising !" Curious and at the same time incited, I looked forward to leaving for expedition.
Some hours after, we arrived in the place choosed by my grandfather. Five minutes ago, I was in water with my oxygen cylinder, my mask, my snorkel, my flipper and my wetsuit. I had one hour in front of me for to discover which treasure populated this ocean. I swam during a good moment in the middle of beautiful colored fishes, when suddenly, all asked the flight leak. And there, I saw it. An enormous head. Squared and quite covered with scales of a bloody red. I also saw four big yellow eyes which seemed to go out of their orbit and an enormous mouth to the sharp fangs hooks. It also had terrible fins as well as tail which beat the water. A monster ! And behind him three identical youngs. Four monsters ! I was petrified, I did not dare to move any more. They always moved forward to me and surrounded me. I believed that I was going to die. By closing eyes I thought last time of my family.
When I reopened eyelids, creatures were not any more there. Without further delay, I swam on the surface to find my grandfather whom I told my meeting. He laugh and explained me that the same thing had arrived at him, fifty years earlier. Nobody had believed it. " I am persuaded, grandfather that we discovered a new sort species of rare fish ".

Sagot :

Quatre
if I am Here pas Hear :)
"It's for talk about" pas "to talk"
" That arrived to me and him" pas at me ! 
" he died " pas dies et "the" après 

Dans ton III le début n'est pas cohérent. " I a little spoke " n'est pas anglais. 
Mets plutôt " I'm gonna speak about my..." suite de la phrase mets " I am going to tell you now what happened to us" ! 

après ne met pas de As on ça ne veux rien dire commence par "every sunday"! 
avant grandf. met "my". 

après ne mets pas de " this day there" enlève le there et remplace par " at the same time".  

ta phrase après n'a pas de sens. 

mets par la suite " He smile to me when he spoke" 

enlève le "and" après curious.

Met " To go in expedition " 

je te corrige le reste direct : 

He told me thatI had just one hour to discover the treasure who was in this ocean. I swam during a long time in front of  beautiful colored fishes, when suddenly, a huge thing came. I saw an enormous head, four big yellow eyes and an enormous mouth. It also had terrible fins who beat the water. It was a monster ! And behind him three same monster were swimming . Four monsters ! I was petrified, I knew that I can go to another place. They always moved towards me . I just think at this moment that my death was here. I closed my eyes and thought that it was my last time in my life.
When I reopened them, the monster were disapeared. then, I swam to the surface to find my grandfather wich there I told him everything. He laughed and explained me that the same thing arrived to him fifty years ago. Nobody have believed in him. " I am persuaded, grandfather that we gonna discovered some new rare fish ".

WOW enfin j'ai finis au bout de 30 minutes ♥ envoies moi une demande d'ami et si tu as besoin de quelque chose pour ton anglais je suis là !



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