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Bonjour à tous,
J'aurai besoin d'aide en anglais svp pour corriger les fautes de ma rédaction ou modifier les tournures de phrases douteuses :
It's only been 2 days since I was on board but I already feel very far from the general throng of Queenstown, my hometown in Ireland. Since childhood, Mother has accustomed me to always give the best of myself in all that I undertake. Today mom is no longer with us. That's why I want to make it proud by trying my luck in the United States. My dream is to become a costume designer for the most important New York theater that recruits workforce. For months, I follow the small jobs to save pennies per pennies to pay me this ticket. But, the game was worth the candle,
Honestly the steerage class is not great luxury, I am in a dormitory without windows where I feel all the jerks of the boat and frankly it is not very pleasant especially at night (I barely slept). Furthemore, there are 2 Libyan sisters, a Chinese woman and an elderly woman. I dreamed innocently that my lucky star could help me to fulfill my dreams and above all to overcome the death of Mother who was in my eyes stronger than the Titanic. It is currently 10:30 pm and I can not sleep, the room is wet, my limbs are frozen, my teeth slam. Tomorrow I have to get up early because there are only 2 baths for our class.
However, it is only insignificant details. I like the friendly atmosphere especially during meals. Indeed, we all eat together, which allows me to create social links. I'm lucky cause I met people who are financially poor but rich in heart and experience.

Merci par avance ! C'est noté


Sagot :

Salut salut tes phrases sont correctes dans l’ensemble.

J’ai juste une suggestion a te faire : au lieu de mettre « elderly » il serait préférable que tu dises « old woman » ou « granny »
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